Planning Your Japanese Wedding Ceremony


Today many American couples choose to reflect their heritage by including Japanese traditions in their ceremonies. These tips offer ideas on Japanese customs you can incorporate into your wedding.

Before the ceremony.
The yuino is a betrothal ritual in which the bride and groom’s families formally exchange a series of gifts wrapped in ornate rice paper. The gifts are selected to represent peace and prosperity for the new couple, as well as the bond between the two families. An obi, a kimono sash that represents female virtue, is often given to the bride. The groom receives a hakama skirt, a male kimono that symbolizes fertility. Other popular gifts include konbu, a type of seaweed said to promote fertility, and white hemp, which denotes the hope that the couple will grow old together. Be sure to explain this tradition in advance if your family (or your fiancé’s) is unfamiliar with the custom. Or, follow the lead of many modern Japanese couples by simply choosing to have a joint dinner with both of your families before the wedding.

Nine times the charm.
In the past, Japanese weddings typically only incorporated elements of Shinto and were held at shrines with close family and friends present. Today, Japanese weddings also include Buddhist, Christian, and other religious elements, depending on the preferences of the families involved. Whatever your religious faith, you may wish to participate in the sake sharing ceremony, which is called san-san-kudo. Roughly translated, the name means “three sets of three sips equals nine.”  For this, three flat cups are stacked on top of each other in escalating size. The bride and groom take three mouthfuls each from the cups, starting with the smallest and proceeding to the largest cup. After the couple drinks, members from their two families also drink from the cups to represent their inclusion in the new union. At the end of the ceremony, the total number of sips taken should equal nine.

Dress interrupted.
Japanese weddings traditionally include several changes of dress for the bride and groom, providing you with a great opportunity to incorporate both Japanese and American customs into your ceremony. Consider marrying in a traditional kimono, and then changing into a Western wedding gown or dress before the reception. If you’re longing to wear a white dress but still want to acknowledge your Japanese heritage, revise the order and don a gown for the ceremony, saving a kimono for your reception. Brides also often change between white and more colorful kimonos. This change of costume, which is known as oironaoshi, dates from a tradition in which the bride changed out her wedding garments to show that she was ready for everyday life.

If you are intent on wearing a kimono, make sure to start looking for one several months before the ceremony. Traditional kimonos come in one size that can be adjusted to fit your body. Correctly putting on this type of attire can be difficult, so be sure to either practice before the wedding, or have a relative on hand to help you before the ceremony.

Beyond sushi.
Japanese, Chinese, or French cuisine is often served at a Japanese wedding. Avoid serving courses or dishes in groups of four, as this number has inauspicious connotations in Japan. Other traditional dishes include sea bream, a type of fish served at celebrations, kombu soup, and sekiham (rice steamed with adzuki beans).  Be creative and combine Japanese fare with favorite dishes from around the world.