Formal & Informal Wedding Shower Tips

Wedding trends come and go, as do wedding shower styles. Nowadays, many brides have two bridal showers, one on the conservative side for close friends and family, and one geared more for the gals. The advantages are plentiful: Should you want to spend time with, say, relatives you’ve known since childhood, but think they would feel out of place at a wild-party shower, having a separate shower for them satisfies all involved.

“Two showers gives you two distinct opportunities,” says Danielle Bobish, of Curtain Up Events, in New York. “You get to entertain, and then you get to be entertained.”

Remember, the bride can’t tell people how many bridal showers she wants, nor can she decide the themes. Traditionally, whoever hosts the shower pays for it, so common etiquette dictates that you treat your shower like you would any other gift. However, if your maid of honor or other member of the wedding asks what type of showers you’d like, by all means inform her of your preferences.

If you have two showers, the more conservative one is commonly hosted by your mother or maid of honor, although anyone can host. For this type of shower, luncheons are appropriate, as are teas, a cocktail party, or simply light refreshments in someone’s home. This is the time to make sure both mothers are present, as well as your relatives and his. Since you’re about to become the member of a new family, this is a great note to start on.

When having two showers, it’s common to invite your maid of honor and bridesmaids to both of them, as well as mothers, although it’s not required. Anyone who gets invited to two showers should not be expected to bring two gifts. Sometimes, the first shower will include everyone in your wedding party, plus relatives, while the second shower will only include your contemporaries and the girls at your office. (Make a point to include your female boss.)

If your second, casual shower is going to be a night of fun and frolicking, whoever’s hosting should talk to both moms about attending. You’ll avoid hurt feelings by inviting them, and they might prefer not to take part in the second shower. It’s never necessary to invite men to showers (frequently called “Jack and Jill” showers), but if you want them there, by all means go for it.

Nowadays, a casual shower runs the gamut from cooking class, to dinner at a fabulous restaurant, to ribbons and games.  Extreme parties, such as strip club nights or body shots at your favorite bar, are usually reserved for the bachelorette party.

Wedding showers can be held anytime, but you probably want to hold the parties a month or two prior to your big day. The closer you get to your wedding date, the more hectic your schedule becomes. Like the wedding registry, never tell guests what you’d like to receive; word of mouth will spread fast.


Check Out the Responsibilities of the Maid of Honor
Check Out Meeting the In-Laws at the Last Minute
Check Out Inviting Your “B List” to Your Wedding