Planning Your Chinese Wedding
Chinese weddings have changed a lot since the time when bargaining over the bride took months. Many customs, however, do remain, and if you’re of Chinese ancestry, or your spouse is, you can incorporate elements you think are appropriate into your ceremony. How traditional the ceremony is should reflect your own personal values, and the values of your family. You can even mix them in with Western traditions for a ceremony that embraces East and West.
For starters, think red. Instead of traditional white, red is the preferred color of dress for the Chinese bride (the groom, too, used to be decked out in red, a trend that has shifted more toward Westernized black tux). The red symbolizes joy and love, and the bride frequently changes outfits a few times throughout the day (although you might think about keeping it down to two; your dress, and something simpler for the reception).
One of the most common traditions that still remains in Chinese ceremonies is for the groom to arrive at the bride’s house the morning of the wedding to pass a series of “tests” before the bridesmaids allow him inside. This can consist of acts like push-ups (to prove his strength), and giving jewelry (a sign of wealth) or other gift—wrapped in red, of course. This ritual provides a nice alternative to the Western bachelor/bachelorette parties or showers, though you can have those as well. Once everyone enters the house, it’s common for the bride to serve tea to both families, while the couple celebrates with a glass of wine.
East and Eden.
Chinese weddings are usually smaller than American ceremonies, with only immediate friends and family invited. It’s common for Chinese couples to choose their wedding date based on astrological signs, and to get married on the half-hour, the “up” time of day, according to custom. Tea is usually served immediately after the ceremony, and right before the reception. The feast is generally huge, with up to 12 courses. Fish is extremely popular (shark-fin soup is a must). The large meal once symbolized wealth on the groom’s side of the family, but nowadays serves more as simple tradition, especially as many Chinese couples pay for the ceremony themselves.
As for the cake, layers are as popular as they are in Western affairs, though the bride and groom typically start at the bottom, as a way of working up the ladder of life. Traditionally, at the end of the day, the bridal party follows the bride and groom into the honeymoon bedroom, taunt them, and stay as long as three days. While you may want to nix this ancient ritual, you can always invite them over for some late-night laughs and a toast to your cultural exchange.