What’s Expected of the Best Man?
The Best Man at your wedding has an aptly named title, as he should be a close relative or friend of the groom’s (he can even be Dad), and, like your Maid Of Honor, helps out where needed. His “official’ duties include throwing a bachelor party (that task can be relegated to someone else, but regardless, everyone attending chips in), guarding the rings, singing the marriage license, holding any money needed (for tips, the officiant’s fee…), making the first toast, and rounding up the tuxes and getting them back to the store on time. On those days when your fiancé is as stressed-out as you are, the Best Man should help to calm frayed nerves. He can assist with tux ideas, travel arrangements, or any other task that’s causing problems for the groom. Just remember that he’s human too, and like you, will suffer from pre-wedding stress and exhaustion.
Simply the best.
The best man commonly drives the wedded couple to their after-wedding location, be it a hotel or airport. This job requires that he remain sober for the ceremony, and as such, is often relegated to someone else, or taken care of with pre-planned private transportation. Talk this one over before the wedding. He should also keep an eye on any misbehaving and disorderly guests, so that the couple can concentrate on the festivities. Another responsibility for the best man (along with the ushers) is to make sure the women in the party have someone to dance with. If he sees an unattended maid, or mom, it’s common courtesy to offer to take her for a spin.
Speaking of spins, the best man takes charge of decorating the getaway car—he needn’t worry; others will enjoy sharing this duty. As for that all-important toast, a couple of ground rules: Contrary to what you saw in “Four Weddings and a Funeral,” it’s not considered appropriate to make rude or X-rated comments about the marrying couple (in England, sarcasm at toasts is more traditional). The toast should be from the heart; when in doubt, keep it short. Like any readings, a formal toast takes prep work and rehearsal. The best man should have a good idea what he’s going to say, and go through it several times before the big day.
Nowadays, grooms sometimes pick women to be the best man, and there’s nothing wrong with that! (Brides have Men Of Honor these days, too.) The only difference if he goes this route is that she’s called the Best Woman, and she’s dressed in a similar style as the bridesmaids. Most importantly, the Best Man is just that: the groom’s personal choice to be the one at his side on this momentous occasion.