Planning Your Thai Wedding
Thai weddings, like Buddhist weddings in general, frequently begin with a blessing by the monks at a local temple. Depending on what part of the world you live in, finding a Buddhist temple may be easy or as daunting as finding a husband. (Today, the custom is sometimes skipped, or the blessing takes place by a “substitute” familiar with Buddhist ceremonies, like a relative or elder family friend.) If you have a traditional blessing, you don’t need to “rehearse” with the monks ahead of time. Temple blessings vary, depending in part on how traditional the couple and their families are. In olden days, the couple sought astrological advice from the monks before setting a wedding date. Much has changed, but a donation to the temple at the end of the blessing is still considered appropriate.
The marriage license in Thai weddings is obtained before the ceremony. It can be signed the day of the affair, or you can opt to take care of it in advance, so you have one less “legal” concern on your Big Day. The afternoon of the wedding, any family members—and perhaps very close friends—join the couple for the traditional Rod-Nam-Sang. At this event, the couple sits in a circle wit their hands in the Buddhist position, as the eldest among the group soaks their hands with water from a conch shell. After the eldest “leader” takes his turn, everyone else follows suit, as a way of blessing the bride and groom.
The ceremony is similar in style to Western weddings, and often takes place at hotels or reception halls. Thai weddings are usually big, with couples inviting up to 300 guests. One faux pas: Wearing black. Thai tradition says that black is to be worn only at funerals (including black ties), so if you’re inviting many non-Thai guests to the ceremony, you would be wise to advise them of the dress code ahead of time.
Like Western weddings, Thai ceremonies range from sit-down dinner to buffet meal to cocktail reception. A slight difference is that, in addition to the maid of honor and best man, there is a Guest of Honor, who is the first one to go onstage and make a toast. He can be anyone close to the couple—and some people choose to have an honor attendant or groomsman do double-duty.
One final word: Now that monks commonly attend Thai weddings (their presence used to symbolize bad luck), Thai weddings are sometimes held in the morning, because monks are not allowed to eat once evening arrives. These are the kinds of rules and traditions that you, your spouse, and your loved ones can decide on together.