Thanking Mom and Dad
Your parents were there for you since, well, the beginning. Now that you’re getting married, it’s appropriate to acknowledge them with a gift. Since two set of parents are involved here, you have a few options.
The first is to give one gift to each set of parents, and have them be from the both of you—it can be the same gift, or something different. (However, it’s probably not wise to give one set of parents a monogrammed beer stein and the other a trip to Hawaii.) The same gift is nice, but often tastes and cultures are so varied that it’s impossible, so feel free to personalize it.
Another way to go is for you to give your mom and dad something, and have your groom give his parents something. This is not considered in any way tacky or less personal than the first route—it all depends on your relationship with your parents, and with his, and how you wish to divvy up the task. Often, if either the bride or groom has gone through a rough patch with their parents, a personal gift serves as a way of helping to make amends or to thank them for the reconciliation.
A third (and much-less-common approach) is to give one gift to all four parents. It’s not advisable to try this if, say, your parents have never met, but if they’re bosom buddies and spend weekends golfing together, a two-night stay at that fab resort isn’t a bad idea.
When it comes to divorced parents, use your judgment. If you were raised by your mother and are not close to your dad, you don’t have to get him a gift. This is true even if you’ve invited him to the wedding. If you still have a great relationship, he should be included in gift-giving. Common courtesy requires that the gift be for him and his wife, if he’s remarried. (On a side note, if you toast your Mom at the wedding or rehearsal dinner, toast him as well.)
As for timing, many couples like to hand out gifts at the rehearsal dinner, when honor attendants get their gifts, or in private a few hours before the wedding. That is entirely up to you. What’s important is that you spend alone time with the parents to thank them and to remind them how important their relationship is to you. Remember, it’s a big day for them too.