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Acknowledging Mom on Your Day

It may be your big day, but she may take it as her big loss! Even if she’s already embraced your new husband as a child of her own, she’s still losing a part of you. As a way of reminding her how important she is (and that you know she might have a hard time letting go), it’s a nice idea to get her a special gift. You should also give the mother of your groom a gift too, to let her know how much her acceptance means to you. Whether or not it’s the same present depends on their tastes, and how personal a statement you’d like to make.

Mothering mom.
There are other ways to acknowledge moms’ love. Invite the two of them to lunch, as a way of saying thanks, and to give them a chance to get better acquainted. Often, in the midst of planning, the sets of parents hardly have a chance to chat until the wedding. Since they’ll be related, it’s a great way to give them the opportunity to bond.

Not all parents are friends with their in-laws, and if that’s the unfortunate case, take the mothers out individually. The days leading up to a wedding are not the best times to spend time patching up disagreements.

Lots of brides insist the band or DJ play a favorite song of the mothers, and dedicate it to them. (Have that hubby of yours dance with both of them.) More and more, daughters are inviting the Moms to the shower; especially if it’s of the more sophisticated variety, like a spa day or night of theater. If your shower is of the Chippendale’s kind, you can have a “mini-shower” with just Moms.

Another great idea is to help Mom choose her dress, including attending fittings, etc. This helps make the day about her too. Also, listen to her ideas and let her help. She might have already taken over, but she might also feel like she’s butting in. Address both Moms as often as possible with wedding ideas, and get their opinions. A mother getting a late-night call needing advice over lilies or roses will be thrilled her daughter still needs advice. A mother in-law being asked if she likes the candle centerpieces will know her new daughter values her opinion.

Perhaps most important, make sure you mention them in the toast. You’re not just gaining a husband, your getting a mom.

Go Back to Traditions & Etiquette

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