Helping Dad by Letting Him Help You
With your wedding, it may feel to you that you’re gaining a husband, but to your dad it may feel as though he’s losing a daughter! To help him fight the gone-daughter blues, include him in your planning. That way, he’s not just on the sidelines, or worse, just that guy who wrote a check.
Granted, most Dads aren’t as psyched as Moms are about what type of orchids will look best as centerpieces, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help in other ways. For starters, tell your dad you’d love his input. If you don’t have a specific role in mind, ask him what he’d enjoy doing. If he says he doesn’t have a clue, have a back-up plan. Fathers can be a great help in scouting out the bands you’re interested in, interviewing DJs, even picking music. If he’s good at diplomacy, have him give you advice on the seating chart—he can provide a lot of insight as to why Aunt Betty and Uncle Lou should not be seated at the same table.
Ideas for dads.
Remember, Dad’s had a wedding too, so have him (and/or your spouse’s dad) help with formalwear ideas. Classic fashions don’t go out of style—nor do classic mistakes—so he might be the perfect one to advise you against the top hat or “Saturday Night Fever” collars, in favor of something a little more appropriate, that won’t embarrass you in photos twenty years from now.
If Dad’s a good cook, he can offer input on the menu, even search out caterers. He also might be the perfect one to help you select a wine list. Better yet, Dad might help you with a signature drink, or in setting up a martini bar or cigar station. He’s going to be flattered when you remind guests that he was the one who selected the wines, or found just the right Champagne for the toast.
Dads are great at scouting out reception locales and rehearsal-dinner spots. Another wonderful idea is to ask Dad if he’d like to throw a cocktail party for you. This is an especially good idea if both fathers want to plan it together. Gone are the days when there was simply a shower and a bachelor/bachelorette party. Fathers, and mothers, are hosting numerous events leading up to the big day; so give dad his chance to let you shine.
Finally, he can be in charge of the post-wedding brunch, a softball game for guests, or the boat excursion that’s on everyone’s to-do list once they hit town. As an afterthought, find a day to take your dad to lunch, and remind him that he’ll never lose his little girl.