What to Expect at a Jewish Wedding

As you plan your Jewish wedding, share basic Jewish wedding traditions with your friends so they know what to expect. Understanding the symbolism and meaning behind wedding traditions helps guests share the love and excitement you feel on your wedding day. Make your guests’ experience more poignant by explaining the specifics of Jewish wedding traditions.

Give friends the opportunity to ask questions about your faith and share specifics, such as whether or not male guests should wear a yarmulke for the wedding. While it may take extra time, helping your friends understand your faith and traditions will help eliminate awkwardness at your wedding. For instance, many non-Jewish guests may be unaware that men and women sit separately at orthodox Jewish weddings or that traditional Jewish weddings are generally formal occasions. Here are some specifics you may want to bring up.

Courtship and Sanctity
One particularly touching aspect of a Jewish wedding is that its very meaning symbolizes sanctifying spiritual bond between two people. While some cultures embrace the tradition of an arranged marriage, Jewish weddings really focus on the dedication and love between the bride and groom. Depending on your upbringing, you may have met your fiancé through formal matchmaking. If so, teach your friends the rich history behind the Jewish tradition of matchmaking.

Breaking the Plate
Either at the beginning of the ceremony or during the engagement party, a plate may be broken (usually by the mothers of the bride and groom) to symbolize the seriousness of the engagement commitment. This tradition varies, but sometimes the broken pieces are giving to eligible singles for luck in love, or made into jewelry for the bride. Share this unique tradition with your friends as an example how scripture has guided tradition.

The Jewish Wedding Ceremony
Share the main aspects of a Jewish wedding with your friends. Explain that the bride and groom don't see each other for a week before the wedding. Discuss the meaning of the ketuvah, and the rich history behind that contract. Most guests will be familiar with the chuppah and the breaking of a glass, but may not know the symbolism behind these aspects of your wedding. If you’re expecting many guests who don’t share your faith, you may want to include a small program or favor with some brief explanations in a friend, “did you know” tone.

Dancing and Participation
Dancing is a large part of a Jewish wedding. Encourage guests to participate, even if they’re learning traditions as they go along. Your wedding day is a time of celebration and spirituality, and the participation of your guests is part of what will make it memorable throughout the rest of your life. If your friends and guests know what to expect, they’ll be more likely to participate. Teach your friends how to pronounce toasts and when it’s appropriate to join in with them.

Jewish wedding traditions set the stage for joyous and boisterous weddings. Don’t spend too much time worrying about whether or not your guests will be prepared. After you mention a few specifics and make sure your friends are comfortable asking you questions, concentrate on the rest of your wedding planning. Your guests will have a wonderful time.

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