Preventative Medicine for Marriage

In the midst of wedding planning, many couples getting married aren’t in the mood to even think about life after the “I do’s.” While that’s completely understandable, pre-marital counseling can be a wonderful investment in your future. Whether or not it’s essential is a different matter: Most Catholic churches will insist upon it; as for other faiths, it usually depends on the person marrying you and the rules of your house of worship.

Should your house of worship require counseling, make sure you take full advantage of the sessions. If your priest or rabbi brings it up as an option, listen to his reasoning. Many houses of worship will have you talk to a counselor or member of the clergy about post-wedding issues, and some churches take a more hands-on approach. This can involve one-on-one sessions with your clergyperson, as well as a couple of group sessions with a clergy and a married couple.

“In general, the priest talks about religion, and the married couple focuses on challenges of married life,” says Thomas Brosnan, Catholic Priest of the Dioceses of Brooklyn, New York. “It can help with communication skills, finances, even how to deal with in-laws.”

Fact of the matter is, divorce rates are on the rise, so consider pre-marital counseling an “insurance policy” for your future. While it’s not as common for second-time brides, if this is your first marriage and you’ve never lived with another person before, learning about relationship tools can be the first step to avoiding major pitfalls later on.

Furthermore, non-religious couples and couples who are having a secular ceremony often seek out pre-marital counseling on their own. More and more couples are realizing the benefits of preventative therapy.

If you want pre-marital counseling, and your house of worship does not offer the service, you can seek out a psychologist or marriage therapist privately, or you can call the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (703-838-9808). The cost of private sessions is on a par with general therapy, but there are also courses taught at community centers and local colleges. Start asking around so you can begin to start learning about each other.

-David Toussaint

Check Out Balancing Family Wedding Traditions with What You Want
Check Out Selecting Your Wedding Officiant
Check Out Making Your Marriage a Success with Pre-Wedding Counseling