When You Can’t Choose Just One to Be There with You on Your Big Day

More and more, brides are picking multiple Maids of Honor for their weddings. There’s nothing wrong with this new trend (and a few advantages), so read on to see if it’s the kind of variety that suits your ceremony needs.

If you do pick more than one Maid (or Matron, or Man) of Honor, it’s advisable to stop at two; after that it gets awkward. “The average amount of bridesmaids is six,” says Danielle Bobish of Curtain Up Events in New York City. “Unless you’re having a huge wedding party, more than two will only complicate matters.”

One reason brides pick more than one Maid of Honor is because they are close to two women and don’t want to favor one over the other; perhaps one choice is your sister and the other is your best friend. Choosing two saves you from making a tough decision and possibly alleviates hurt feelings on their part.

Another good reason to enlist two women is that they can share in the duties; an especially good idea if one of them lives far away and the other close to home. Your nearby Maid of Honor can attend dress fittings, organize the shower, etc., while the other one, when she arrives, can do a reading, hold your bouquet, and be your “emergency” girl on the day of your wedding. There’s a good chance the women you choose will like this arrangement too, as it means less work for them; being a Maid of Honor is a wonderful compliment and tons of fun, but it also involves lots of time and energy.

There are times, too, when having more than one Maid of Honor is almost essential. For instance, if you’ve been dead set on having your best friend from college do the duty, but her job out of state means she won’t be able to fly in for your wedding until the night before, choosing an additional Maid means you don’t have to keep her from being part of the dream you’ve both shared since Freshman year.

Once you’ve picked your maids of honor, you’ll find that each one will have specific duties they’d prefer to perform. Talk to them ahead of time to make sure each is happy with the arrangement.

While the trend has not caught on in the same way for multiple Best Men, you don’t need to worry about an uneven amount of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Both Maids of Honor can walk down the aisle with the Best Man. You do have to worry about two gifts: A Maid of Honor gets an extra special present, and if you decide to have more than one, make sure both of your Maids are so honored.

-David Toussaint

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