Inviting Those Who Won’t Attend
Should They Get a Wedding Invitation Anyway?
Fewer and fewer brides can claim ‘the sky’ as their budget limit, so more and more of them are taking another look that their guest list and making cuts. Sound familiar?
Each person that you cut from your guest list will save you an average of $100, so it’s no surprise that most brides start there. The hard part is deciding who not to invite, though, leaving brides to wonder: “Why invite someone who’s not going to come anyway?”
Recently through our blog a bride asked us about not inviting family members who lived far away and probably wouldn’t attend. She was anxious to get a handle on her guest list, but was concerned about seeming rude. We thought she was driving herself crazy trying to guess other people’s feelings.
Be honest with yourself.
If distance is the only reason you are considering not inviting someone, invite them. They’re probably close enough to expect to be invited, and may be hurt if they’re not. Even if they do not or cannot attend, it is appropriate to include them.
Besides, they may surprise you and make the trip! People are sometimes itching for an excuse to travel or visit, and a wedding is about as nice an excuse as there is. Provide accommodation and travel information, and let them decide for themselves if they can make it.
If you’re just using the distance as an excuse, and for whatever reason you don’t really want them to attend, that’s a separate issue which involves your specific family dynamics. Be honest with yourself about why you’re considering not inviting them before you set a plan in motion.
Gimme gimme gimme.
While we’re on the subject of assuming how people will respond: Some brides fear that inviting someone they don’t think will attend will be misinterpreted as an underhanded way to score more gifts. It is true that many people will send a gift even if they cannot attend, and it is possible that some of them may feel “tricked” into doing so. But very few people, if anyone, will feel that way. Don’t worry about what you can’t control. And besides, people who react that way are even more likely to be offended if they’re not invited at all, so you may as well make it easier on yourself and leave the decision to come (or to gift) to them.