Who Sits Where in the Church?
Guests are seated before immediate family of the bride and groom. Also, if one side has more guests attending, have ushers seat a few people on the opposite side to even things out. If a guest is adamant about sitting on the “wrong” side of the church, go ahead and let her sit where she wants to.
In a traditional Christian ceremony, the bride’s family sits on the left side of the church, the groom’s family on the right; for a Jewish wedding, it’s the opposite. The bride’s mother is seated last, usually by an usher, immediately after the groom’s mother is seated. The seating of the bride’s mother is the official beginning of the ceremony (sometimes an aisle runner is rolled out after she takes her place). The seating of the bride’s mother does not apply to a Jewish ceremony, as both mother and father traditionally walk the bride down the aisle.
In general, the first few rows are reserved for immediate family and relatives. The exception is for elderly guests, who should also be seated near the front. Handicapped guests should be seated at the end of a pew. Parents are seated in the first row, grandparents, the second. The parents of any children in the wedding, such as a ring bearer, should also be seated up front. Any siblings not in the ceremony are seated in either the first row or the second, and are seated before the grandparents. Step-relatives are brought in before all birth relatives, and are seated in the rows immediately behind the family.
If the parents of either the bride or groom are divorced, the parent who primarily raised the child sits in the first row (with his or her spouse); the other parent, the third row (also with his or her spouse). If both parents raised the child equally, or have a good relationship with each other, you can sit them together in the front row. (Discuss this ahead of time.)
To quickly review the order in which guest should be sat:
- Friends of bride and groom. (Anywhere but the first few rows).
- Step-relatives. (Usually in the third row, depending on how much room.)
- Siblings and grandparents. (In the first and second rows.)
- Parents of the bride. (The front row.)
To avoid mass confusion, go over the seating rules with your ushers. Make sure they know who sits where (they can hold a chart if they need to). A general rule of thumb is one usher for 50 guests. Ushers should hold the arm of female guests as they escort them down the aisle. Tell you ushers not to panic if they get confused. Wedding guests are generally polite and willing to wait a bit to make sure they’re sitting in the proper place.