How to Include the Younger Members of Your Bridal Party

If you’re having an under-age bridesmaid in your wedding (generally, any girl from 8 to 15), you want to make sure she has just as much fun as the other women.

Bachelorette parties are tricky if you’re planning on a night of debauchery; if you’re opting for a different kind of fun (spa day, cooking class), by all means invite the under-age bridesmaid. She can also attend any formal dinner. Make sure she has a means of getting home early if it’s going to be a late night.

According to Danielle Bobish of Curtain Up Events in New York City, the shower is a great way to include younger girls. “Give her an important job so she feels like she’s part of the wedding,” she says. “Have her keep track of gifts for thank-you notes, or gather the ribbons for the fake bouquet.”

For the wedding, a junior bridesmaid wears an outfit in a similar style as the other members of the wedding. For other events, it’s a good idea to talk to her mom about outfits. “Her mother will have a good idea about what she can wear and what she’s comfortable in,” says Bobish. “Never make a young girl wear heels.”

Like everyone else at the wedding rehearsal, she’ll learn where she’s supposed to stand and when she’s walking down the aisle. Wedding prep is a little different. “If you’re hiring a makeup artist and hairstylist, ask the parents if they want to have the girl included.” Bobish says that many artists will simply put a little blush or lip gloss on a child to make her feel special. Don’t tread on the beliefs of parents who don’t wish for their daughter to wear makeup, and don’t be surprised if she’d rather not have it, either. Younger girls, like boys, can be uncomfortable having to get dressed up for formal affairs.

Chances are a young girl isn’t going to ask for a martini at the reception, but it’s nice to let her order her own drink. “If she wants a Shirley Temple or a ginger ale, have her make the request,” says Bobish. “It’s yet another way for her to feel like a member of the wedding, and not just a little kid.”

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