Planning Your Gay Wedding
In many respects, gay weddings are not all that different from their heterosexual counterparts. You set a budget, pick a place, invite your friends, and announce your love. If you’re planning a legal marriage, civil union, or domestic partnership, there are specific details that heterosexual couples don’t have to worry about. Since the laws change almost daily, your best bet is to contact the Human Rights Campaign, which has up-to-date information on same-sex marriage in every state. You should also contact a lawyer familiar with the topic.
The brides wore white.
Should you desire a religious affair, talk to your priest or rabbi; he or she can help direct you to a clergyman who ordains same-sex couples. If your house of worship forbids gay weddings, your priest or rabbi should also be able to direct you to a site that does.
As for the ceremony itself, one of the main differences involves finances, as there are no “rules” as to who pays for what. Gay men and women tend to get hitched later in life than heterosexual couples and, as such, often pay for ceremonies themselves, but more and more parents are pitching in or paying for all of their gay children’s weddings (in part because the ceremonies are becoming more acceptable).
Whether you have two bridal dresses or two tuxes, same-sex couples usually have best men and maids of honor. The same goes for rehearsal dinners and engagement parties. Anyone can host these affairs. Bachelor and bachelorette parties are popular too, though it’s not advised to have one party for the both of you.
Gay couples register probably as much as straight ones and all the major retailers offer same-sex gift registries. In addition, major newspapers all over the country now list same-sex ceremonies in their Sunday sections. Call the paper near you and find out the procedure. (It can be a long process, so don’t put this task off.)
You’ll also find same-sex honeymooners all over the world. Your main concern when traveling is finding a place where you feel completely at ease holding hands with your new spouse, so check with the Gay and Lesbian Travel Association to make sure your destination is homophobia-free. Another piece of advice: tell all vendors immediately that you’re a gay couple. If you hear any hesitation or unease in the person’s voice, hang up and call someone else.
We are family.
Unfortunately, you might have to deal with homophobic parents or relatives or even friends. If you’re concerned about any family member not accepting your wedding as legitimate, talk to them about it. If you can’t resolve the issue, don’t invite them. You need to take care of this immediately, as finding out Mom’s boycotting your ceremony two weeks before the big day is one headache you don’t need. Another problem arises when friends or relatives don’t think the wedding’s “real”: These are the guest who don’t RSVP but show up, or show up with an uninvited guest or two, or don’t bother bringing a gift and talk through the vows. Do your best to head-off these people in advance. A good solution? Have a close friend call to announce any pre-parties: weddings sound more official when the word comes from an outsider.
And that’s it! Almost every other aspect of wedding planning will be the same, and there is a wealth of information for you here at OurWeddingDay to make sure that your wedding is perfect!