Deciding Who to Invite to Your Wedding
Creating your guest list is a crucial step in wedding planning, and not something you want to put off. When you start, reserve an evening with your fiancé, and bring lots of patience to the table. Here are some friendly pointers.
The guest list starts after you know how many people you’re going to be able to invite. Assuming you’re having one hundred guests, the first thing you need to do is split the count 50-50. The second thing you need to do is start small—no matter how precise you think you are, you will add more people as time progresses. The more formal your wedding, the less maneuver room you have. If it’s a cocktail ceremony, as opposed to a three-course seated dinner, you’ll have a little more flexibility in adding guests.
Jot down the people who have to be invited—your family, bridal party, all the definite guests. Go over it a few times, and then check to see how many more people you can invite. At this point, take a breather, as you’re inevitably going to forget names. Your next move is to write down the names of people whom you would love to invite, but who can be cut down if needed.
Once you’ve “finalized” your guest list, wait a couple of days and go through it again. Talk to your parents to get their feedback. In general, if either set of parents are paying for all or part of the ceremony, they should be allowed some say in the guest list. However, don’t let them go overboard. If Dad insists on having all of his golf buddies, take him aside and explain that there simply won’t be enough room.
The next step is to check your guest count (yep, you probably invited too many), and cut back the guests who aren’t essential. Make up a “B-List,” which is the group of people you will send invitations to once you receive RSVP “no’s.” A B-list is not rude or inconsiderate, and your friends will understand that wedding space is limited.
At this point, you should have a good draft of your list, and you will be able to hand it to the caterer when needed. Know that there will still most likely be additions, so do not overbook. Remember, an extra serving of salmon is not going to ruin your wedding; not enough food will be a huge problem. If you’re way over-booked, go back to the basics and cut out everyone who isn’t essential. Then try again, only with much more caution.
Start your wedding guest-list project as soon as you can. A little early planning can go a long way in getting your guest list off to a heaping good start.
Check Out Inviting Your "B List"
Check Out Choosing the Date of Your Wedding
Check Out How to Handle the Unexpected on Your Wedding Day