How to Follow Up on Who’s Attending Your Wedding
Since it’s your wedding day, everyone who got an invitation will promptly RSVP, right? Not exactly. However well-intentioned, some friends and loved ones will either forget, assume it’s unnecessary as they’re been congratulating you for months, or think telling your brother is the same as notifying you. Before you write these people off, read on for how to handle the RSV don’ts.
Most couples send out invitations about two months’ prior to the wedding, with an “RSVP by” attached. Approximately 90 percent of the invited will respond on time, giving you an idea of how many guests to expect. For the remaining 10%, take matters into your own hands to avoid any awkward 11th-hour situations.
For close friends and relatives who don’t respond, call them. Be polite and, first off, ask if they received the invitation—mail can get lost, and there’s also the chance you sent an invite to an old address. Tell them you hadn’t heard from them, and that you were wondering if they were planning to attend. Make sure you let them know how much their presence means to you, and not to take it personally if they say ‘no.’ You can split these duties with your fiancé if some of the guests are from his group of family and friends.
If the person involved is not a close friend of yours, but rather an old friend or distant relative of your Mom or Dad, it’s okay to let one of your parents make the call. They should handle the situation the same way you do.
The last group of people you need to be concerned about are the ones who, for whatever reason, you knew were unlikely to attend. Provided there are not too many guests who fall into this category (unlike a club, you can’t turn away people who arrive at your wedding unannounced), it’s okay to assume they aren’t going to make it to your ceremony. If they do show up, that’s where those extra servings your caterer included start to make sense.
No matter who the guest in question is, don’t email or text them. Weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime event, and the RSVP list should be treated with as much formality and importance as the day itself.
-David Toussaint
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