Writing Your Own Marriage Vows
If you and your husband-to-be decide to write your own vows, there are a few things to consider. You'll want to balance out the uniqueness of your bond with tradition, and in some cases, expectation.
If you are having a religious ceremony, it can be mandatory to use traditional wedding vows, so be sure to follow any regulations there may be. For more freedom and fewer rules, secular vows are completely acceptable and -- in today's times -- becoming the New Traditional.
When writing your vows -- whether religious or secular -- you need to first discuss with your fiancé what you want to say. Do you want to comment on specific reasons why you love each other, or is the focus on your commitment to each other? If you decide on traditional wedding vows, the priest, rabbi or other official will read something like this:
"Do you, __ take __ to be your lawfully wedded (wife/husband) to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"
If you write your own religious vows, incorporating your favorite bible passage is a great way to begin. It shows the religious dedication you want in the ceremony, as well as affection you have for your new spouse.
Think about what you want to promise: love, trust, honesty, compassion, communication... Finding the right words may be difficult, but making a list of what you intend to give of yourself in this marriage will help. If you're stuck, try writing down sayings like, "I promise to love you every day of my life," or if you want to get more romantic, something like, "I promise to love you every morning, every night and every moment in between," can create a magical moment between the two of you at the altar (and there won't be a dry eye in the house!).
Some couples put in a personal touch, something only the two of them would understand. Do you have a special moment or inside joke that would bring a smile to his face during the wedding? Incorporating it in to your vows or -- even better -- traditional vows, mixes things up a bit and will make your groom laugh during your moment together.
Some couples like to discuss what they will be saying before the actual wedding day, while others think its fun to keep the vows as a surprise until the moment when they look into each other's eyes.
Make sure you practice your vows enough to know the gist of them by heart. Have a copy on cards to read, of course, but practicing them will help you relax and enjoy the day.