Dealing with Male Wedding Monsters
With all of the attention on overzealous, "bridezilla" brides, sometimes the overbearing groom gets overlooked. He’s booked the site, he’s hired all the vendors, he’s organized each song for the DJ, and he’s driving you crazy. Male bridezillas do exist, and you need to tackle them with tough wedding love.
If your guy fits into the male bridezilla category, the first thing you need to do is take him aside and have a heart-to-heart. He might not be aware of his fanaticism, and he might be overcompensating for other reasons—you’re busy with work, he’s worried you’ll think he doesn’t care about the wedding, or he’s making up for his lack of early enthusiasm. There’s a good chance that letting him know he’s gone overboard will calm him down.
Should that fail, and your bridesmaids are calling you to complain about his orders and the caterer just quit, more drastic measures are needed. Take him aside again, but this time be firm and let him know how big the problem has become. If he’s belligerent with vendors and/or members of the wedding party, he may be suffering from built-up stress. Money issues, job issues, and wedding issues are not easy, and this is the time to suggest stress-management courses or therapy. If the problem’s severe, talk about delaying the wedding. While that seems like a drastic step, it’s necessary to make sure your wedding takes place at a time when you’re both in the right frame of mind.
Less drastic measures involve pulling your fiancé out of a major chunk of the planning. Start with your budget, as that’s an area where you can’t have someone going off the deep-end. If he’s forgotten about your limit and has added chauffeured limos for the children, take over. If he’s reluctant to budge, remind him that you’re the bride and your childhood dream of wedding planning is taking a backseat to his demands. If he’s way over budget and has considered putting much of your wedding on credit, tell him that you refuse to start married life in debt.
Since bridezillas tend to be overly aggressive, reassign him to duties where his skills will be most useful. He can go over all contracts with vendors, seek honeymoon deals, and book group hotel rates for the guests. Keep him away from the more personal and sensitive areas (bridesmaids, guest lists and Mom’s own wishes), and you’re both going to breathe a lot easier come wedding day. Once you set off for your honeymoon, his inner-animal can be unleashed.
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