Involving Mom in Your Planning
How to Let the Moms Help You Plan Your Wedding
This may be your big day, but it’s also Mom’s dream come true. Like you, she’s probably been imagining the wedding for years, maybe even cutting out bridal photos or making mental notes of the perfect reception site. As you get swept up in the planning, it’s a wonderful idea to find ways to include her—and his mom—so they get to eat the cake and help plan it too.
Mothers day.
Even if you’re the world’s biggest control freak, find areas that you have trouble with—it can be something big like the menu, or something small like place cards—and ask her to help. If either mom is a whiz with coordinating blooms, they’re the ones you want to talk to before going to the florist. Chances are, they’ve had a lot more experience mixing and matching petals than you have. If Mom wants to help, but her tastes are remarkably different than your own, give her a job making calls to vendors (make sure she wants the position, of course), or have her do the table-seating math. She can coordinate a bridesmaids luncheon or double-check to make sure vendors are on schedule.
If either mom has a lot of ideas, and you don’t necessarily agree with them, you can still get them involved by calling each one up, and saying you’d love to get their feedback. Simply say, “We’re thinking of pink dresses for the bridesmaids, do you think that’s wise, or should we have them pick their own gowns?” It sounds simplistic, but one of the biggest frustrations for mothers in regards to weddings is that they often feel as if they’re voice isn’t heard. (Besides, just like your groom, you might find that Mom has a lot of clever ideas you’d never given her the chance to air out.) Note: If either Mom is contributing a lot of money to your affair, you’re liable to make them feel snubbed if you completely cut them off from planning.
Oh brother, it’s mother.
That said, it’s not Mom’s wedding, so you need to stick to your guns. The overbearing Mom’s a huge problem, but she can be dealt with. Rather than politely telling her to back off, listen to what she has to say, then remind her that it’s your wedding and you and your groom are going to make the final decisions. It’s wise to also mention that you’ve told the other mother the same thing, and, if necessary, have your groom make a call too. Always practice the art of compromise: If you know it’s going to make Mom thrilled to have “Feelings” be the first-dance song, give her what she wants; only have the band or DJ play it later on, in dedication to all your feelings of love for her.
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