A Primer for the Guys in Your Wedding Party
Groomsmen are an integral part of your wedding, and not just guys who look great on the bridesmaids’ arms. Ask friends and relatives, and anyone else who’s been close to your fiancé (and/or you) to take part in the festivities. Groomsmen can be any age, from tiny tots to great grandfathers. But make sure that all the men understand that being a groomsman does not simply mean renting a tux and showing up to party.
While it’s nice to include as many people in your wedding party as possible, avoid asking guys to be groomsmen who are notoriously irresponsible or who can’t guarantee they’ll make it to the reception on time. Keep wedding nerves to a minimum by asking enthusiastic loved ones who’ve expressed an interest in your wedding party. Don’t pressure anyone into taking the “job,” and remember that people often say “yes” out of courtesy.
Your groomsmen are responsible for their own suits, although some couples opt to pay for the men’s outfits. They are fitted ahead of time, a job that can be taken care of in their hometown, should they live away from where the ceremony will take place.
The groomsmen help plan the bachelor party (while it’s common for the Best Man to host, it’s not necessary). The men are also expected to pitch in for the party. Groomsmen, like all guests, are responsible for buying a gift for the bride and groom.
Groomsmen should attend all pre-wedding parties, as well as the rehearsal dinner and the wedding rehearsal. At the ceremony, they usually serve as ushers, and need to arrive early to go over the ceremony site’s seating arrangements. Once guests arrive, groomsmen usher them to their seats, always taking women by the arm. If a couple arrives together, they still take the female’s arm. If a group of people arrive at once, the groomsmen should take the arm of the eldest female first. Groomsmen should know the location of all exits and restrooms.
The groomsmen generally walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids. If there is a shortage of women, two men can walk down on either arm of a bridesmaid.
After the ceremony, tradition has it the groomsmen help “decorate” the getaway car. Some people have retired this tradition, so it needs to be discussed with the Best Man and the groom. At the wedding, groomsmen should encourage guests to get up on their feet and dance, and they should always offer to dance with any women in need of a partner.
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