What You Need to Know about Having a Loved One Marry You

While most couples have a traditional clergy person or justice of the peace marry them, some couples prefer having a close friend or relative take care of the honors. While you probably can’t go this route if you’re having a religious, formal ceremony in a house of worship, it’s a perfectly acceptable idea for a more casual affair, like a backyard or beach wedding. The most common reason couples decide to have a loved one make it legal is the feeling of closeness you get from someone you know personally, especially someone who’s been a wonderful friend for years.

Before you start asking random wedding party members if they’d like to “marry you,” you need to think long and hard about whom to ask. Marrying you is not as complicated a task as being a maid of honor or best man, but it’s a crucial role in the marriage process. Whoever marries you has to be timely, serious, and available. If you ask a friend, and they say no, don’t take it personally. Some people might not want the responsibility, and it’s much better you find out now than the day before your ceremony.

Once you select someone, double check with your county clerk’s office to make sure it’s recognized in your state. The person you select can easily be ordained through the Universal Life Church. For a small fee, the paperwork is completed online, and should only take a few weeks to be processed. Once the license is received, you can make your wedding as religious as you’d like it, or go completely bohemian. The ULC does not discriminate against any particular faith or non-faith.

For $35, some states allow you to get designated in one day, as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner. The person who wishes to marry you fills out a simple form, pays the fee, and is allowed to marry one couple. No religious wording is allowed at the ceremony. Contact your county clerk’s office for more information.

The choice of who marries you is up to you. Talk about it, go over the pros and cons of minister versus justice of the peace versus close friend, and take comfort in the fact that whoever you choose will be in love with idea.

-David Toussaint

Check Out Finding the Clergy for Your Wedding Ceremony
Check Out Modern Legal Requirements for Marriage
Check Out Modern Traditional Weddings