Getting Your Family to Travel a Great Distance for Your Wedding

Contrary to what you might have picked up from celebrity weddings, there is no rule or etiquette nicety saying you have to pay for anyone’s transportation to your wedding. That means: even if you’re holding your wedding in Florida and all your guests live in California, they are responsible for airfare, taxis, and transportation to the actual ceremony. (Bridesmaids' and the best man’s tab was traditionally paid for by the parents, but that’s a different matter.)

Trip hopping.
The reality of transportation can throw a huge monkey wrench into your planning because it’s often unaffordable for guests, so seriously consider cost when picking a wedding site. If most of your guests live near the ceremony, you’re going to make a lot of people happy, and have a lot more “yes” RSVPs.

If you’re dead-set on getting married in that cute little Cape Cod enclave where he proposed, by all means do so, but be prepared for repercussions from your family back home. An even bigger problem occurs when one of you is from New Mexico, the other is from New Jersey, and you’re 50/50 guest-list split means that one side of the family is going to have to pay huge bucks depending on which “New” you choose to have your ceremony in.
   
Transatlantic transportation.
Here are a couple of suggestions to fend off some of your travel woes: First off, if there aren’t too many guests flying in from a great distance, and it’s in your budget, by all means pay for it yourselves. If you go this route, make sure you don’t exclude one couple because rumor has it the husband just got a big fat raise.

If shelling out cash for airfare is not an option, and you know it’s going to provide stress for some of your relatives or friends, the easiest solution is making the guest list smaller. You might actually be doing your starving actress college roommate a favor by telling her it’s just going to be a ceremony with the folks. Most people hate to turn down a wedding invite just because they can’t afford it, and it’s not unheard-of for people to use all their miles or max their credit cards just to make your ceremony. Sometimes it just makes more sense to have a small wedding, followed by a big celebration with friends when you get back.