Dress Codes & Guidelines at Your Wedding

Despite what you might have thought, people enjoy dress guidelines for weddings. Close friends and relatives never want to worry that they’ve chosen an inappropriate outfit, so the more precise you are, the better. Here are a few smart tips to make everyone comfortable.

Although some people frown on the idea, it’s completely acceptable to list the dress code on your invitations—in addition to the wedding invite, this includes all additional parties. Make sure your phrasing is specific (for example, “black tie,” as opposed to “formal”). Guests who’ve attended many affairs will understand that “black tie” means a tuxedo for men and a formal outfit for women. Should they be unfamiliar with the term, they’ll have an easy time finding someone who knows what the phrase implies. (“Formal,” on the other hand, is up for interpretation.)

Some of the other common phrases include “black-tie optional,” “cocktail attire,” and “casual.” Black-tie optional implies a certain level of formality, but allows men to wear suits—no jeans. Women can dress down should they feel more comfortable. Cocktail Attire is semi-formal; slacks for men, skirts or suits for women, and Casual pretty much means anything goes—and is sometimes the code for a beach or park wedding.

No matter what you write down, there are people who will inevitably buck tradition. Some men think black-tie translates to “suit,” while others might not have a tux or might choose not to rent one. That’s their choice and, since you’ve done your part, you don’t need to be concerned if they feel under-dressed at your wedding.

There are women who refuse to wear dresses, and, once again, allow them the alternative. (Often it’s a choice based on their figure, and even worse than feeling under-dressed at a wedding is feeling extremely self-conscious.)

Dressing children for your wedding.
As for children, most parents will use your guidelines to dress them. It’s important, however, that some slack is allowed. Buying or renting a tux or gown for yourself is one thing, spending the money on children, especially a large family, is another. If a friend or relative calls and asks if a tux is essential for her son, tell her no; what’s important is his presence at your affair.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
On a final note, even if your Uncle Charlie shows up in snakeskin boots and a rhinestone vest, you can’t turn him away and you can’t tell him to change clothes. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, take solace in the fact that those wedding shots of him are going to provide amusement for years to come.

-David Toussaint

Check Out the ‘Tradition of White’ for Wedding Gowns
Check Out What to Do When Guests Don’t RSVP
Check Out Considering an Adults-Only Wedding